Mary Kathryn Lang (n é e Chapman)

Passed away peacefully in her sleep at age 86 on Monday, April 17, 2023, at Oakville Trafalgar Memorial Hospital, due to complications from recently diagnosed congestive heart failure. Mother of Janet Lang (Sandy Roy), Andrew Lang (Judy), and Jennifer Scheuring (Tom). Beloved grandmother of Robyn, Jennifer, Christopher, Alicia, Katrina, and Erika.

Mary was small in stature but to underestimate her based on her size was a mistake few people made twice. (Some family friends, including those in the military, sometimes referred to her as "Scary Mary" with equal parts love, respect, and fear.) Throughout her life, her defining characteristics were her capacity for caring for others, her fondness for traveling, and her love of social gatherings whether they be one-on-one conversations or grand events. And no matter what was scheduled for the day, Mary always wanted to be "put together" with the proper outfit and her hair just so.

Caring for others started at an early age, as Mary and her sister Virginia helped care for their mother who was afflicted with Multiple Sclerosis. As a result of this experience, for the rest of her life Mary was a strong supporter of MS research, hopeful that one day others would not have to suffer as her mother did. When her sister's family moved to BC, Mary spent many hours caring for her sister's mother-in-law who was living alone in Montreal. Over the years, many friends and relatives spent extended visits in Mary and Doug's house if circumstances required that they be in Oakville or the GTA for a period of a few weeks or months. Even after Doug's death, Mary took on an important role to support a family friend whose health was declining to the point he needed to know that, with no immediate family of their own, someone would be there to take care of his wife should he die.

Mary was actively involved in several volunteer groups over the years. When the family left Montreal and arrived in Oakville as part of the Sun Life move in 1980, Mary quickly joined the Newcomers Club so she could help welcome other families who were new to the town. In addition to her annual walks to raise funds for the MS Society of Canada, for many years Mary also canvassed for charitable donations to support cancer research. An avid knitter throughout her life, Mary was a productive member of the Maple Grove United Church's knitting group, creating hundreds of hats for premature babies and prayer shawls to comfort those who were suffering. Until her declining health no longer permitted it, Mary was actively volunteering with a group that arranged lunch outings for a local seniors' group. Herself age early to mid-80s at the time, Mary thought it was important to help the "elderly" enjoy a chance to socialize.

In fact, Mary loved nothing more than socializing, and holiday entertaining was her forte. Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving were always celebrated with as many family and friends as were available and lacking other plans. For other special occasions, Mary was ready to join the party or host it. 50 people or more? Not a problem! When living in Chateauguay and a member of the Woodlands Yacht Club, there were many parties of this size to enjoy during the warm summer months. And if there was going to be a gathering, there was going to be lots of food including a dessert dish (preferably many to ensure everyone could find something to enjoy)! No matter what the social opportunity was, Mary just loved to chat with people, a habit that sometimes led to long goodbyes at the front door with someone's engine running in driveway as the car went from "warming up" to "tropical". However, on more than one occasion Mary made long-term friendships that started with chatting with a stranger at the airport, so Mary would have rightfully said it was time well spent.

Mary didn't miss any tricks as a mother raising her three children. Schoolwork was important, but so were social skills. So, once homework was done immediately after they got home from school, the children were either sent out to play with neighbours or involved in various clubs or teams. When the kids had grown up to be teenagers and more responsible for their own social planning, Mary was still "in the know". Her famous trick was to leave her lamp on when she went to bed; returning teenagers had to "check in" to say goodnight and turn off the lamp, giving Mary a chance to catch a whiff of any alcohol or hear any telltale slurring of words. Somehow, the next morning would always be a day when she had to vacuum the bedrooms bright and early! Lying to her or withholding the whole truth was never even considered as, without ever uttering specific threats, Mary was able to convey the message that life would be far less enjoyable if she learned the truth from someone else. Even the kids' friends sometimes told Mary more than they told their own parents.

Throughout her life, Mary enjoyed traveling. She'd been to many different European countries including frequent trips to the UK to visit her cousins and extended family. Doug's business travel as well as their personal vacations had taken them across Canada and the United States many times. Her favourite way to travel, discovered mostly in retirement, was cruising, and she had cruised to Alaska, Australia/New Zealand, Asia, the Caribbean, South America and the Panama Canal, the Mediterranean, and Scandinavia with a side trip to Moscow. Her most recent destinations included South Africa and Mexico with her sister Gini. Other trips had been planned before COVID and her health put an end to new adventures.

After Doug's passing, Mary moved into her condominium in Oakville so she could maintain her independent lifestyle. It was the perfect place for her to start her daily walks, to which she was very committed. Rare was the day you didn't see her out strolling on the sidewalks to get in her exercise and of course chat with whomever she bumped into. Due to her pure white hair and perfect posture, she could be identified from far away on Lakeshore Rd E. or by the lake or lighthouse (silently, or not so silently, chastising people who were disobeying the No Bicycles signs)!

She also continued the patronage of the arts that had started after retirement, subscribing to two local theatre groups' annual play/musical series as well as frequent trips into the city to attend Toronto Symphony Orchestra performances with a dear friend. Trips to the Stratford Festival became less frequent as the friends she used to go with began to pass away, but from time to time she would go there or into Toronto to catch some new performance with the kids and grandkids.

Mary was never a serious sportsperson, but in her life she had bowled, curled and played tennis and was still participating in exercise classes at the church whenever possible. She did enjoy watching sports, however, and the TV channels on her "favourites" list at home included all of the sports channels so she could watch the football games and curling championships. She was also a big fan of the Olympics and the chance to cheer on Canadian athletes in their endeavours. That cheering extended to her kids' sports and activities as they grew up, when time permitted, and in her later years to her grandchildren's games and events. She was most recently an honorary social member of Georgian Peaks ski club, frequently seen having drinks by the fire pit and cheering on her granddaughters during their races in her very warm winter coat.

Mary didn't like to complain, although like everyone from time to time she did. In particular, over the past few years she was becoming frustrated by the negative impact that macular degeneration was having on her quality of life, just wishing that everything could be brighter so she could see it better. Nevertheless, she did not see that complaining ever helped. Even in final stay at the hospital, when she couldn't quite get comfortable, any adjustments her children would make to the bed or to her position in the bed would do "for the moment". It even became a small but important piece of comedy relief shared with the nursing staff.

Small but mighty and full of life, love, and a caring for others, she is gone but not forgotten. We all hope she is resting peacefully, for the moment.

The family will receive friends at Kopriva Taylor Community Funeral Home, 64 Lakeshore Road W., Oakville (905-844-2600), on Thursday, April 27 ^th from 7:00 – 9:00 p.m. A service to celebrate her life will be held at Maple Grove United Church, 346 Maple Grove Drive, Oakville (905-844-3221), on Friday, April 28 ^th at 10:30 a.m. In keeping with Mary's wishes, she is being cremated and will be interred in Ch âteauguay sometime this summer where she will once again return to Doug's side. In lieu of flowers, donations to the MS Society of Canada or Kerr Street Mission would be appreciated.